a day in the life...

tapos na sa Magalang

2008-05-04T11:34:00.016+08:00

Oh man, what a week. I have finished the goodbyes at site and finally made it to Manila for the home stretch. Leaving was much, much harder than i thought it would be. The worst part was leaving the center. Thursday was my Despedida (goodbye party) at Haven and I cried the entire day. One of the most special days of my life, hands down. The girls put on a program with the requisite singing and dancing and presented me with cards and paintings they had made. We had pancit, ice cream, videoke, and i gave them the bracelets I made for each of them. When I first arrived in country, the blatant display of emotion made me completely uncomfortable, but apparently I've gotten used to it. We sat and hugged and cried and told stories all day and it felt so normal...Filipina na ako?
Maam Precy, my boss (and one hell of a lady) arranged for the staff to go night swimming (with more singing and eating, of course) that evening, so we wrapped it up at the center and headed to San Fernando to finish up the party. Friday was moving day and hanging out with the host family (and more tears).
The Philippines. This place has let me in on a few secrets, the biggest of which is that feeling sorry for oneself is a waste of time. Just smile and keep going. These girls at my center, who have been given no chances whatsoever, who have been kicked in the ass by their own family members and society in general, get up every morning and face the day with more integrity than i could ever muster if I was in their shoes. They have inspired me to no end. There are so many things i will miss about this place. Sure, there's also plenty that I wont miss, but so what? I could have done my Peace Corps service anywhere in the world and there would be things to complain about. I will miss the ease of public transportation. There's nothing comfortable or quick about it, but its cheap and convenient. Not having a car is so liberating. I will miss the gorgeous tropical fruits...papaya, mangos, star apples, guyabano, guava, leyches, mangosteen... I will miss the sense of community, children running barefoot outside, everyone knowing my name and watching out for me, and the sound bamboo makes when the wind blows it. I will miss knowing exactly where all my food comes from that I buy at the market and being able to pick bananas off trees in the yard. I will miss suman with coco jam, san mig on ice, and ample free time to journal, read, and do yoga. I will miss walking or riding my bike everywhere in my town. I will miss the curiosity of adults and the innocence of children and the friendliness of everyone. I will miss the excitement I got when I picked up a care package at the post office, or got online and saw that someone from home was available for a chat. This list could go on for quite some time...but I am ready to go home and start the next chapter.
Kapayapaan, Carrie

more recent pictures

2008-04-28T09:34:00.000+08:00

o boy.

2008-04-27T13:11:00.003+08:00

It's getting so close. I thought at this point I would be bounding out of bed in the morning, so excited to wrap things up and be on my merry little way back to the States. Instead, as my 5am rooster crows, I find myself wanting to just hide. I would so much rather disappear in the night than have all this attention that I am leaving, the goodbye parties, the gifts, etc. It's overwhelming. But Filipinos don't need an excuse to throw a party, so you can imagine what its like when they do have a reason. I'm knee deep in packing (how I have acquired all this stuff in two years is beyond me...my family and friends definitely win the award for most-consistent care-package-sending), visitors keep dropping by with goodbyes, well wishes, and gifts to take with me (no, i CANT TAKE MANGOES! i wish...), everyone in my neighborhood wants to know what I'm getting rid of and can i have it and are you REALLY throwing that away?? I want it! Let's factor in the fact that its upwards of 100 degrees, and every little face that asks me "Ate Carrie, uwi ka na? Kailan mabalik?" makes me have to fight back the tears.
Yes, you precious little things, I am leaving. And no, I'm probably not coming back. How do I say that? So I lie. Yes, maybe in 5 years....I tell them. But even if I do, the girls at my center will no longer be there, and they are the ones that are hardest to leave. Peace Corps' slogan is that it's "The toughest job you'll ever love". It's not tough to love. It's tough to leave.

the goodbye series: part 1

2008-04-20T09:52:00.003+08:00

I hate them. Saying goodbye is one of my least favorite things to do, and i just had to say it to most of my peace corps friends. Last week was our COS(Close of Service) conference in Manila, which was a week-long lovefest with sessions about readjustment to life in the US, closure, reverse culture-shock, and LOTS of late nights. I am going to miss these exceptional people all so much, my heart hurts.

hiking mt. pinatubo

2008-04-08T10:09:00.005+08:00

Over the weekend Sherry, Adam, and Pat came to my place to hike Mt. Pinatubo. Here's a little info about it, copied from wikepedia:
Mount Pinatubo is an active stratovolcano located on the island of Luzon in the Philippines, at the intersection of the borders of the provinces of Zambales, Tarlac, and Pampanga. Ancestral Pinatubo was a stratovolcano made of andesite and dacite. Before 1991, the mountain was inconspicuous and heavily eroded. It was covered in dense forest which supported a population of several thousand indigenous people, the Aeta, who had fled to the mountains from the lowlands when the Spanish conquered the Philippines in 1565.

The volcano's eruption in June 1991 produced the second largest terrestrial eruption of the 20th century.[2] The 1991 eruption had a Volcanic Explosivity Index (VEI) of 6, and came some 450-500 years after the volcano's last known eruptive activity (estimated as VEI 5, the level of the 1980 eruption of Mount St. Helens), and some 500-1000 years after previous VEI 6 eruptive activity.[3] Successful predictions of the onset of the climactic eruption led to the evacuation of tens of thousands of people from the surrounding areas, saving many lives, but as the surrounding areas were severely damaged by pyroclastic flows, ash deposits, and later, lahars caused by rainwater remobilizing earlier volcanic deposits, thousands of houses and other buildings were destroyed.[2]

The effects of the eruption were felt worldwide. It ejected roughly 10 billion metric tons of magma, and 20 million tons of SO2, bringing vast quantities of minerals and metals to the surface environment. It injected large amounts of aerosols into the stratosphere—more than any eruption since that of Krakatoa in 1883. Over the following months, the aerosols formed a global layer of sulfuric acid haze. Global temperatures dropped by about 0.5 °C (0.9 °F), and ozone depletion increased substantially, but has since recovered.

Holy Week '08 - camping in Tublay

2008-03-28T11:16:00.005+08:00

Holy week in the philippines is a spectacle of flagellants, pabasa, and men nailing themselves to crosses to reenact the crucifixion. Holy week also happens to fall during the most ridiculous heat of the year. So, this being our third year to experience this display of outlandish reverence, a bunch of us opted to go camping in the beautiful northern mountains of Tublay. We stayed at Sherry's host family's organic farm, helped out a little bit in the gardens, but mostly just hiked and hung out and cooked good food and enjoyed the cool, breezy weather (sweatshirts at night! crazy!)and solitude of the area. It was a bit of a last hurrah for some of us...we will all be together again at our COS conference in Manila in a few weeks, but this was a great opportunity for us to just chill and reflect on our adventures throughout the past 2 years here. I will be flying out on May 7th, so the counting of months has now become weeks, and the emotion of this experience coming to an end is beginning to overwhelm me.

swimming with whale sharks

2008-03-13T09:33:00.014+08:00

Last weekend I flew down to Legazpi with Sherry to check out the whale sharks, or butanding as they are known by locals. There is a high concentration of whale sharks in Donsol during the months of February through May. Butanding are the worlds largest fish and can reach up to 40 feet long. They only feed on plankton and are completely docile, but because of their size, swimming alongside of them is a huge rush. Absolutely exhilarating. They are endangered because their meat and fins can fetch alot of money, so the local fishermen had all but killed off this beautiful creature in Sorsogon until 1997, when laws were passed to prevent the killing and sale of whale sharks. As an alternative livelihood for the fisherfolk of the area, there was a big ecotourism push and swimming with the whale sharks quickly became a popular tourist activity. All you have to do is rent a boat, guide, snorkle, and fins, and you are on your way. You put on your gear and sit on the side of the boat as the guide scouts the waters from up top; when he sees one he yells go and you all jump in the water and swim towards it. We saw several the day we were out, despite the rainy conditions (they are harder to spot when its cloudy), and Sherry and I swam alongside the same one for several minutes, close enough to touch it, until he whipped his tail (scared the crap out of us!)and took off. Here are some pics of the adventure:

Afterwards we visited our friends and environmental volunteers Jarod and Mariah, who possibly have the sweetest setup of any Philippines PCV. They live in the guesthouse of a renowned vulcanologist, who had his homes build on the beach, directly facing Mt. Mayon. Spectacular. They even have a nipa raft, which we swam out to with a bottle of wine to enjoy the sunset... What a weekend!

winding down

2008-03-03T09:04:00.010+08:00

It's hard to stay motivated these days. We are one calendar page closer to being done, projects are wrapping up, and most of us are only focused on our life post-peace corps...new jobs, new relationships, a new city. Every day is a battle to stay present; to remain in the moment so that when i am home in a couple months, i dont have any regrets about my final days here. I have started a livelihood/recycling paper-making project at the center, which will hopefully teach the residents some environmental responsibility (if only i could get them to compost!) and generate some income. Ideally, I would like them to be able to do this in their communities as a source of livelihood when they leave the center. Most of them have little, if any, education, so returning to their life as a GRO (Guest Relations Officer...another word for protitute, which is legal here) is oftentimes their easiest option, especially if they have children to support. This will hopefully give them another way to make money. Here are some pictures of us in the process:
recycling the materials
ripping the paper

little helper
adding color to make the pulp pink
blending the pulp
the finished product...drying in the sun

Girls L.E.A.D. '08- tapos na!

2008-02-28T10:23:00.004+08:00

Finally getting around to posting about our second Girls L.E.A.D. camp that went down in early February. Another success! This time around we included 2 more centers from Region 3 and two more 266 PCV's. We are hoping that by introducing them to the modules, our camp will be sustainable! We certainly hope they can continue to put on this 4-day forum (we call it a "camp", but it's really more of a conference) with DSWD after we are gone. (malapit na!) Thanks to everyone who donated to PCPP and helped us raise the money to do this! And an especially huge maraming, maraming salamat po to Mr. Welch, whose donation went a long way towards making this camp a successful one.

yes we can.

2008-02-18T10:59:00.003+08:00

i heart obama

busy

2008-02-10T10:35:00.001+08:00

The past month has been a busy one. Matt was here for my birthday in January, and we traveled a bit up north to Sagada and trekked through the Banaue Rice Terraces. It was incredible. We also visited Batad, which is a breathtaking village, but was emotional to visit, after last year's tragedy with Julia. We then spent a couple days at my site, which all the girls at Haven LOVED (big crushes) and he was able to finish painting the mural he started when he was here in October. Here are some of Matt's killer pics from his visit:

After he left (boo), we had only a couple weeks to finish preparing for our second Girls LEAD camp. We did it last week and it was another success! I will post pictures and some stories about that later. I also became a godmother to beautiful little Iona recently. She is just precious (the daughter of my host cousin):

36-hour circus

2008-02-02T12:14:00.000+08:00

The past two days I have been on my center's annual "R & R" staff retreat. It was without a doubt my most comical day and a half in the Philippines, possibly in my life. I kept track of it all in my journal so as not to forget any of the gems. Here's the timeline:
THURSDAY
8:45am- I arrive at my center. Scheduled to leave for Laguna (4 hours south)at 9.

9:00am- No vehicle to transport our group of 13. We had asked our municipal hall to donate a vehicle, and it was all confirmed. This is in no way surprising.

10:00am- Staff go to munic. hall to see what happened.

11:15am- They return to the center with....are you ready for this...AN AMBULANCE. We are taking an ambulance to Laguna.

11:30- Trying to figure out how to fit 13 people plus all the food and everything into one ambulance. We can't remove the stretcher.

11:45am- We finally leave. We can't all fit so we are taking the ambulance plus our center's vehicle. But the only person who can legally drive the center vehicle is our driver, who has called out of work today because "his wife is sick".

12pm- Stop at the bank

12:15pm- We are on the side of the highway in San Fernando (only about 30 minutes from my center)

1pm- Still on side of the road. Some of the staff went to try to find our driver. He has no cell phone so they are just waiting at his house and hoping he comes home soon. Who knows how long this will take.

2:20pm- They all decide that my group, the ambulance group, will just leave and meet the others there when they find the driver.

3pm- Fried Spam and ketchup sandwiches are passed around

4pm- We try to eat chicken adobo in the back of the ambulance. This works out well (the driver treats the ambulance like its a race car).

5pm- We roll into Maam Precy's (our boss) parents' house in Batangas. Totally confused. Something about bypassing traffic. There is no air con in the ambulance, so all the windows are down (windows down in manila traffic is like...ugh, i don't even know what it's like. the dirtiest experience of your life)and people are sort of hiding in the back because we have too many people and dont want to get pulled over. I am curled up on the stretcher wishing someone was here to witness this scene. My face hurts from laughing.

5:30pm-We eat at Maam's parents house, they show us around the gardens, we get a tour of their piggery...

7pm-The ambulance had to return to Magalang so we unload all our crap and reload it into a jeepney. All of Maam Precy's relatives are coming with us too apparently...

7:10pm- Stop off at the market in the town proper so Tita Fely can fill up an empty jug of Carlo Rossi with vinegar, because, I'm told, the vinegar in Batangas is sweeter than the vinegar in Pampanga.

7:30- On the side of the road again. Waiting, again, for the other vehicle. Some kind of text miscommunication and they went to Maam's house after we had already left.

9pm- Arrive at the "resort"(certainly not the word I would use to describe the place.)We came to Laguna because it is known for it's hot springs so there are lots of these resorts with hot spring pools. I am sharing a room with ONE BED with maam precy and tita fely.

9:30- Party begins. Videoke, swimming, eating, San Mig. Never seen these ladies drink. One little cup of sweet wine and they are all loopy. Hilarious.

11pm- Power goes out. No more videoke, lights, or water. Sweet. I go to bed.

12am- Sharing a bed with 2 talking-at-full-volume Filipinas. I'm awake now and painfully aware of how hot it is with no fan (no power)

1am- They suggest we sleep outside because its cooler. So we sleep in the bahay kubo. I forgot my insect repellant. Can't sleep because I'm getting eaten alive by mosquitos and I'm sweating my ass off.

4am- Power back on. Come back to room, finally able to sleep with the fan.

FRIDAY
7am- Someone in the group in belting out "Part-time Lover" on the videoke.

7:30am- Tita Glady comes in. "Carrie!! Lets eat!!!" Sopas (creamy pasta with hot dogs)for breakfast

7:45- Our security guard tells me to get ready, we will be leaving at 7. Um, thanks.

9am- Tita Fely is singing YMCA and everyone is up dancing.

10am- Someone (they think from the press)snaps a picture of our center vehicle's license plate. Maam worries that they will report it being used for unofficial business.

10:30- We start walking. Hot as hell. Walk to a gas station to wait on vehicle #2.
11am- Waiting at gas station. I buy the group popsicles, which melt before we can finish them.

11:20- Vehicle #2 arrives. (Again, we were scheduled to leave at 7).

12:30pm- LOST. Stop for directions.

12:45- Arrive at Chosen Children orphanage. The kids are sleeping so we are asked to come back later. I don't even know why we're here. Back in the car. Now we are going on a "picnic". This should be good.

12:55- Stop to buy tomatoes

12:57- Stop for directions

1pm- Arrive at Villa de Oro- a resort, conference center type of place. I am so out of the loop.WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?? We tour the facility, staff want their pics taken in the great room on the fancy chairs,i keep asking, "Is this a museum? Do people live here?" All they keep saying is that its a "mansion house" and isnt it beautiful. We eat our leftovers from the day before in their dining hall.

2:15pm- We leave, head back to orphanage.

2:20pm- See a coffee shop and pull over. (Its a real coffee shop...no Nescafe)so we pull over because they want to see if they have any pasalubong. There is a cute coffee shop next door also so I run in for a caffeine fix and come back over to find my group getting free samples. For the rest of the trip, I have to hear about how i wasted P30 on coffee when i could have gotten it for free

2:40- Back to orphanage. Get a tour. Really impressive facility, but again, WHY ARE WE HERE? I get no anxwers.

4pm- Back in vehicle

5pm- Drop off Maam's brother at work

5:10- Arrive at Maam's brothers house. I am told we have to wait here for the ambulance to come back for us, and it should be here by 8.

9pm- Here we are, still waiting. Ambulance would have been here by now but there was another miscommunicaiton and it went all the way to Laguna. We are 2 hours away, in Cavite. Unbelieveable.

10:15- Group prayer

10:30- I leave with the first vehicle. Ambulance still en route.

12:10am- Drop off Tita Marion in Bulacan, a neighboring province. Jeeps have stopped running so now we have to take everyone home.

12:30- Drop off tita fely and kuya jinggoy in san fernando.

1:30am- HOME SWEET HOME. Man, do I feel relaxed! Time well spent.

we did it!

2008-01-11T19:30:00.000+08:00

Maraming salamat sa inyo lahat (thanks to everyone) who donated money to our Girls LEAD project! We met our goal in less than two weeks, which i think is some kind of PCPP record :) Your support certainly makes our jobs as volunteers much easier. Thank you!!!

goodbye mom and dad, hello 2008!

2008-01-03T09:28:00.002+08:00

Manigong Bagong Taon! Happy New Year. It's been a very busy few weeks, which is why I haven't been a good blogger. My parents left for the second part of their holiday vacation, in Hawaii (no doubt cleaner, quieter, better food)on Tuesday and I am trying to get up and running for the FINAL 5 MONTHS OF PEACE CORPS!! Blows my mind. Anyway, their visit was fantastic...only one bout of food poisoning (mom, within the first 12 hours)and they were troopers, as I dragged them all over creation. We flew to Bohol to spend Christmas at the Bee Farm. We relaxed there for 4 days while M & D recovered from their jet lag. Ocean front massages, organic fresh food straight from their garden, diarrhea...oops, sorry. But mom was sick on Christmas Eve, then I got sick on Christmas day, and had to opt out of the dolphin and whale watching boat trip out to Pamilacan Island. Bummer. After the Bee Farm we headed to Alona Beach for 2 days on the beach. We toured the entire island while we were there, visiting the Chocolate Hills, taking a riverboat cruise down the Loboc, and checking out the Tarsiers. After I had sufficiently eased them into Philippine life, it was time for reality: Magalang, Pampanga. So we flew back to Manila and hopped on a bus to my glorious site. No more air conditioning, hot water, and staff waiting on us...here it is folks, the real peace corps experience. We only spent 3 nights at my site (which I think was more than enough for them), but we did alot in those 2 days. We went to my center both days, which they loved. The girls put on a short program for us...they sang, they danced, the read thank you letters they had written to my parents in their broken English...it was so special and we all cried. My mom must have remarked 20 times how much she wished she could take them all home. They are just the most lovable kids ever. Mom also gave some knitting lessons, which the older girls loved. Dad was a good sport, dancing and singing whenever they asked, and taking countless pictures that he has promised to print and send (they love nothing more than having their pictures taken). New years eve we headed back to Manila to meet up with some PCV friends for a night of eating, drinking, and singing. Mom and Dad ROCKED the videoke. Made me proud. New Years Day we said a sad goodbye and I bid them farewell...

'Tis the season...

2007-12-11T10:46:00.000+08:00

...to help me raise money!!
We are looking for help in funding our second Girls L.E.A.D. (Leadership, Empowerment thru Active Decision-Making)camp, to be held in early February. My fellow PC volunteers Kate, Suzie, Sherry, and I developed this camp last year and put on our first one last June. (You can go to June's blog postings to read more about it and see some pictures). It was a huge success and a very valuable 4-day camp for the girls at my center and Kate's. This time around we are going to include girls from another volunteer's site as well. The population we are working with are girls that come from homes where they were raped or sexually abused, off the streets, or were referred to us due to human trafficking or involuntary prostitution. These are girls that need our help.

I know money is tight this time of year; if you can only donate $5, that's great! It's easy to do, just follow these steps:

Instructions for the link:
Click on the link, then go to the Asia link. You will see Philippines "Girls LEAD Camp". Our name is under Kate's, so go to C. Hickey. Click on the link and you can read the project summary and there is a link to donate to our project.

Click here for the PCPP website link...

Thanks in advance for your consideration to help with this project. Maraming, maraming Salamat Po!!
Maligayang Pasko!

Typhoon Lando at Sherry's Farm

2007-12-07T11:53:00.000+08:00

After Thanksgiving in Sagada, Kate, Pat, Dave, and I headed to Sherry's organic farm in La Trinidad to help her build a mud oven. Our timing was a little off, as Typhoon Lando hit just as we arrived. Camping in a signal 2 typhoon....I don't necessarily recommend it. Needless to say, we were unable to construct a mud oven outside during a typhoon, so we hunkered down with our wet clothes, wood, food, and made the best of it. Sherry is an environmental volunteer and the story of the farm she works on is really special. It goes like this:
ENCA Farm has been in the Acop and Cosalan Family for three generations. It is named after Enrique and Carmen Cosalan, the second generation to operate the farm after they inherited it from their parents. They spent most of their lives tilling their farm, growing fruits, vegetables and raising animals to feed and educate their 11 children about the importance of sustainable organic farming and the history of the Ibaloi Culture.
Today the farm is experiencing rejuvenation after many years of environmental destruction due to the Santo Nino Mines and illegal logging practices. The vision for the farm is to create a space where indigenous Ibaloi Organic Farming practices are being preserved and taught throughout the community. This space will be used as a key educational venue for teaching the importance of sustainable farming, land preservation and environmental education. It will also provide a wonderful retreat for those visitors coming from the larger cities and allow them to experience the peace and serenity that comes from spending time in beautiful, natural places.
Anyone can volunteer and work at the farm through the WWOOF website: www.wwoof.org

Thanksgiving in Sagada 07

2007-12-07T10:40:00.000+08:00

Ay, nako! 6 months na lang!

2007-12-02T13:58:00.000+08:00

How is it already December??! Unbelievable. Even more so is the realization that I am done with peace corps in exactly six months...I have no idea what happened to the past two years. But here we are, entering the final stretch. I'm excited but a little anxious...what if I don't finish all my projects? What if it turns out that nothing I've done is sustainable? What if I get home and realize that I have regrets about things I should have done differently here? December here is pretty much a wash...everything takes a backseat to Christmas festivities (same thing happens during Holy Week). So we'll see how much actually gets done before January. I have been developing our sexuality awareness curriculum, we are continuing our play therapy sessions in the newly completed resource room, and life skills education also continues. Kate, Sherry, Suzie and I are also doing another Girls' LEAD camp in early February. My parents come on the 21st, which will be here before we know it! Lots to look forward to. Last week 55 of us headed up north to the magical town of Sagada for the annual Peace Corps Thanksgiving celebration. I am still recovering...

Matt's Visit

2007-11-30T10:59:00.000+08:00

my walk to work: a photo journal

2007-10-24T09:23:00.000+08:00

walang kasama

2007-10-15T11:42:00.000+08:00

When you sign up for Peace Corps, they go all out to prepare you. You are in training for months. You learn the language, you go on cultural "outings", you meet the important members of your community. They tell you to get used to being stared at, that you should expect to field overly-personal questions, to remember to take your malaria pills and sleep under your mosquito net. They tell you that most people get sick at some point with one of the many parasites that lurk in the water and food. They tell you its a roller coaster, that you will have good days and bad, and that you should just roll with it. They tell you that things move at a much slower pace, and that you need to adjust to their speed. They warn you to stay far away from Mindanao and other certain "black areas", as they are unsafe due to Islamic radicals. They tell you how important it is to stay hydrated, especially in the summer months. They tell you that 27 months will, in fact, go by quickly. They never once mention how lonely you will get.
That's what i am going through right now. Everything has fallen into place except for this one area. It's incredible how lonely you can feel even when you are surrounded by people. That's the thing - the people I'm surrounded by are not people I feel deeply connected to. I mean sure, we have our daily mundane exchanges about the rain, the heat, that fact that I'm walking to work, whether I have taken my breakfast yet, etc. but its not like a connection you have with close friends or family. It's not as fulfilling as the friends you can communicate with through a knowing glance, a facial expression, an inside joke, a sarcastic comment. It's not that I don't want that with a local...I very much do, and I very much tried, but it just didn't happen. You cant force a connection. You get someone or you don't. And I am exhausted. Is it too early to throw in the towel? Maybe. I beat myself up because I feel like I should be making more of an effort in this department. But like I said, I am tired of trying and getting nowhere. I have several peace corps friends who I do have this kind of connection with, and I value these friendships more than I could possibly express. My American friends here have kept me (somewhat) sane.
I have always enjoyed my solitude...in small doses. But here, its like a lifetime worth of being all by your lonesome, rolled into a two-year span. Its a bit much. Independence is not something that's encouraged or valued in this culture. So everyone thinks i am a freak. The fact that i live alone ("walang kasama")is so crazy to them..."but aren't you scared? aren't you lonely?" Because no filipino would EVER choose to live alone. Young adults get married and continue to live with their parents, without even considering that they might like some newlywed "alone time". Families do everything together. They would never go anywhere alone, even if its just to the market, let alone all the way to MANILA(gasp)walang kasama. I think they look at me with pity when they see me walking all over town by myself. I am tired of trying to explain how in the states, its perfectly normal to do everyday activities walang kasama. Just as I don't understand wanting to sleep all snuggled together on the floor with my family like sardines as a woman in my 30's, they don't understand the enjoyment I find in coming home to a relaxing, quiet, empty apartment, reading a book, doing some yoga, and going to sleep.
So I'm trying to figure out if this is what cultural exchange is supposed to be. They see how I live, they understand (i think) that being independent is part of my American culture, but it doesn't mean they want to be like that. Just as i see how they eat rice 3 times a day, burn their garbage, and have codependent relationships doesnt mean i want to. Is that a true exchange? I could probably live here for 20 more years and still not know.

Haven Pampanga 26th year Anniv. Party

2007-09-22T11:53:00.000+08:00

back to work

2007-09-18T13:48:00.000+08:00

It's good to be back. While being home in the States was fantastic, I've realized that my work here is not yet finished. This Friday is our annual anniversary party at Haven. This is the biggest event of the year. No budget? No problem! Filipinos are extremely resourceful. New paint, new curtains, new landscaping...I'm not sure where the money is coming from for these projects aimed at impressing our guests (donors, local government officials, etc), but they are pulling out all the stops. I don't ask. Because if I know that what little money DSWD has is being put towards superficial aesthetics and not rehabilitation programs for our girls, I'll lose my mind. This is the trick, I've discovered. There are things I can and can't change here, and it is a frustrating and exhausting waste of energy to focus on things that will not change. Parties and fiestas are a big part of Filipino culture. Being the practical westerner that i am, the money spent on these events seems a frivolous waste. But not to them. So I will sit back, enjoy the party, and concentrate my efforts elsewhere.

You've got to be kidding

2007-08-18T10:39:00.000+08:00

Really, really?? Inmates at Cebu prison remake Thriller...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hMnk7lh9M3o

Home and Back Again...

2007-08-13T12:52:00.000+08:00

Ahhh....the States. Land of hot showers, flush toilets, few rats, and even fewer roaches. I love this place. Being home was like being at a ritzy, all-inclusive resort: Any food or drink I might crave is just a short ride in an air-conditioned car to a local store, the beds feel like clouds, and everyone is happy to see you. Does life get any better than this?? Of course, we all know the downside to such utter bliss; it is only this good because I've become accustomed to living without comforts that are considered quite basic by American standards. So now I am back here again, my home away from home. It has been a rough transition. I got a little too used to good microbrews, everyone telling you how great you are for what you are doing, being able to hug my parents every morning, Trader Joe's, lounging in front of the big tv with my dogs, jogging in clean air. I was continually surprised at the amount of bitching I heard at home, most of it about the war, our administration's decisions, etc.... I just wanted to grab people and shake them, "THIS IS THE BEST PLACE EVER!!!!" But that's relativity for you. You don't know how good you have it until you don't have it for a couple years. So I've got 10 months left. I wonder how long I will be able to maintain my blissful state when I move home next year. The human psyche is ill-equipped to sustain any level of heightened emotion for too long. But miracles do happen...especially if you're living in the United States of America.

HAPPY 4th!!!!!!

2007-07-03T17:28:00.001+08:00

Even happier, i will be on American soil in just a few short days. The countdown is on...
Here are some shots from last weekend at the Hickey's, celebrating the 4th with PC friends...

2007-07-03T17:24:00.001+08:00

frontbutt - ?

2007-07-03T17:22:00.000+08:00

reyna. she's a sagittaurius...

2007-07-03T17:20:00.000+08:00

pat stickey

2007-07-03T17:17:00.000+08:00

with kate, reyna, and pat in our bahay kubo

2007-07-03T17:15:00.000+08:00

relaxing at the lake

2007-07-03T17:10:00.000+08:00

4th of july feast with kate, reyna, and abby

Bali

2007-06-27T17:51:00.000+08:00

Bali is a tremendously magical, spiritual island. Unfortunately, millions of tourists are also aware of this, so it is difficult to appreciate in its true state. Everywhere you go is crawling with people wandering aimlessly with their cameras and Lonely Planet books (myself included), trying not to get hit by the oncoming traffic, as it flows in the opposite direction there. But i have to admit, it was a refreshing change to not be stared at for being the only white person for miles. Bali is home to the majority of Indonesia's small Hindu community (unlike the rest of Indonesia, which is largely Muslim). Religion seems to dominate everyday customs... Twice a day, the locals can be seen in their beautiful sarongs and sashes, carrying bamboo trays of flowers, spices, incense, and small food items to present to the gods and evil spirits. There are temples every few hundred meters, and anyone is allowed to enter (unless you are a menstruating woman). The temples are exquisitely intricate. I am utterly envious of the passion for life, art, and tradition that the Balinese people possess. Just as exciting and adventurous as it is to travel and see a new country are the people you meet. Backpackers, travelers, anyone who is visiting a place out of their element has a lust for life that makes them an instant friend. I met plenty of people like this, and they were so great that i had to extend my trip by a few days...

So, here I am, back in the good old Philippines. Thank god i am going home to the States in a week. Otherwise, id be suffering from a severe case of post-vacation blues...

PNVSCA Article

2007-06-14T09:21:00.000+08:00

http://www.pnvsca.neda.gov.ph/features.html#HAVEN%20SENT

Scroll down to article "Haven Sent"

total eclipse of the fart

2007-06-12T09:40:00.000+08:00

check out this video some of my PCV friends made. absolutely hilarious...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HM9feghIpvQ

girls LEAD - tapos na!

2007-06-05T12:25:00.000+08:00

For months Suzie, Kate and I have been preparing for our four-day camp that went down June 1-4 without a hitch. We are so proud of the girls. We had 10 participants from my center and 10 from Kate's center. Sherry also came down from Baguio to help. The idea for L.E.A.D. (Leadership, Empowerment through Active Decision-making) was born back in October at a DSWD/P.C. conference. We got a grant from USEC and some local donors to sponsor, and focused on building self-esteem and leadership skills. We did yoga every morning, taught them ridiculous ice-breakers that they loved, and had them practice facilitating workshops as part of the "echo" component (they will replicate these workshops when they go back to their respective centers). It was such a success that we are already talking about when and where to hold the next one. the past four days reminded us all of why we joined Peace Corps in the first place. This really can be the most overwhelmingly rewarding experience.

Singin' in the Rain

2007-05-25T08:49:00.000+08:00

There are a million things you see here that you don't usually encounter in the States, and vice-versa. One of my favorites is something that happens when it rains. There are two seasons here: hot (October - June) and rainy (the rest of the time). The rainy season is sneaking up on us with its regular afternoon thunderstorms. Soon this will turn to all-day storms, followed by unrelenting typhoons for the next few months. Despite the rain being a regular thing, the kids still freak out when it happens. They run. They jump. They splash. Its as though it's Christmas morning (in the States). The regular chorus of cock-a-doodle-dooing is replaced by shrieks and laughter as the rain pounds the dirt, turning it to mud for the boys to slide in. The girls try out their new dance moves to imaginary music. They chase each other, strip down to their undies, and ignore the parents yelling at them to come back into the house. Does it get any more innocent than this? As it tapers off, they head to the community water pump and the mothers bring out a bar of soap and a sachet of shampoo for them to bathe. They don't know of Nintendo or cable TV. They have the rain.

2007-05-20T16:05:00.000+08:00

Lola, my host grandmother

2007-05-20T16:01:00.000+08:00

Ryan - a cutie living at Haven

2007-05-20T15:57:00.000+08:00

sleepy flower girls

2007-05-20T15:45:00.000+08:00

Readlani Sports Festival April 25-27

our friend julia

2007-04-26T16:46:00.000+08:00

i have been putting off writing about this subject. its just too sad, and posting a blog feels too impersonal... but since i am sure most people who read this have already heard about it and are concerned, here goes...
our friend and fellow PCV julia campbell was found murdered last week. last week feels like a month ago, at least. she had been missing for over a week and her body was found beaten and buried in a shallow grave. authorities and US officials have been working together and we hear that they already have a suspect.
none of the grisly details are important. what is important is this: julia was a beautiful woman who lived in NYC and was a very successful journalist. after 9/11, she decided to give it all up and join the Peace Corps. she wanted to make a difference. she did make a difference. she worked her ass off while she was here...developing a library at the school where she taught, launching an ecology awareness campaign in her community, building an Eco Center, teaching at the local college. i was fortunate enough to experience julia's incredible work ethic when we worked at the evacuation site together in december in bikol. the girl worked nonstop even though she had also endured the typhoon's effects; her apartment had flooded up to chest level, most of her belongings had been ruined... but she put aside her own inconveniences for a few weeks to help the local victims. this is only one example, and believe me, there are many, of how selfless she was.
we miss you, ate julia.

Visayas vacation

2007-04-14T09:43:00.000+08:00

A couple of weeks ago Kim came to visit. Rather than bore her with the rice paddies here in central Luzon, we headed down to the Visayan Islands. The Visayas is one of three island groups here in the Philippines (Luzon and Mindanao being the other two). It consists of several islands, many of which we visited, and forms the central part of the Philippine's archipelago. It is also home to the luckiest PC volunteers, living on these beautiful beaches for two years. Punks. So....a quick recap...I picked Kim up in Manila and we flew to Tagbilaran, Bohol. Bohol is home to the famous tarsier, which is the smallest primate in the world. They are found only in a few southeast Asian islands. Rumor has it that they were the inspiration behind Steven Spielburg's E.T. (although they are much smaller). We also saw the chocolate hills, which we thought were the most over-rated tourist attraction here. We snorkeled at Pamilacan Island, stayed at an amazing place on Panglao Island called The Bee Farm, and took a cruise on the Loboc River. At the river we stayed at a place called Nuts Huts, which was in the jungle on the river, therefore lots of bugs and strange noises at night. The first of many non-flush toilets and beds with mosquito nets (Kim wasn't too excited). We left Bohol after 5 days and took a boat to Siquihor. Siquihor is a smaller island known for its faith healers. We stayed at a dive resort on the beach and rented a motorcycle to tour the island at our own pace. I was determined to find one of these faith healers because i had heard so much about them, and after several wrong turns and wrong-er directions from locals, we found the home of Juan Ponce. He is the most well-known of the island's mananambals. He felt my pulse points and asked me what was wrong. Um.....hadn't really thought about it, I was just there to see if he would perform witchcraft or voodoo. So I went to my old standby..."Masakeet ang tiyan" (my stomach hurts). He lifted up my shirt and touched my stomach, then rubbed something oily on it that smelled like coconut but had stuff floating in it. He boiled some red leaves, then put them all over my stomach and told me that there was an evil spirit inside. Well, duh. I could've told him that. 13 months of diarrhea, what else could it be? After Siquihor, we took another boat to Dumaguete, on the island of Negros. We had to go there to try to change our flight back to manila, as it was holy week, and no boats were running on good friday to get back to bohol. We hopped a very WET boat out to Apo island, which has a marine reserve around the island so is renowned for its snorkeling and diving. After some more scrabble there (we spent about half our time doing this), we headed back to Dumaguete to fly back up to manila. We met up with some of my PC friends there and took Kim out for some videoke, as it is a crime to leave this country without singing at least one song. She was a good sport, and then as the warm beer and wine continued to flow, someone decided it was time for Reyna and I to try balut, as its also a crime to live in this country for over a year and not have eaten it. Balut is hard boiled duck egg with a 15-day fetus inside. Its a popular street food here that all Filipinos eat and enjoy, but the sight of it has always been too much for me. But the mood was right and the buzz was good, so we downed it like good girls, just in time to see Kim off to the airport. What a week. I am back at site now, suffering from a pretty severe case of post-vacation blues. Here are some more of our favorite pictures (as always, just click on the pictures to enlarge):

365 days

2007-03-23T16:47:00.002+08:00

Hard to believe that a year ago I arrived, partly because of some crazy idealistic notion that I could make a difference, partly out of a relentless case of attention deficit disorder, partly out of fear that the days of my life were becoming redundant and felt culturally marginalized. So here I am. One year. 365 days. Damn.
I was struck initially by how westernized this country was, or at least appeared to be. People that pass briefly through the Philippines might also notice this and assume this place is movin on up. But scratching beneath the surface, I have found that the initial impression of western strides are just that: impressions. They have the western clothes(jeans, t-shirts with logos), the big malls, the music (they are a couple decades behind on the music, but who doesn't love Air Supply?), the TV shows, etc. But it ends there. The poor education system, the corrupt government (on nearly every level), the antiquated superstitions and beliefs (I've seen my share of channeling and exorcisms), the joke of a judicial system...I could go on. Just as Filipinos who watch Baywatch and Mtv think they know what life is like in the States, I thought I had this place figured out pretty early on. It's like the old adage goes: the more you learn, the more you realize you don't know. I grow continually perplexed by what my role is/should be here.
PC prides itself on their volunteers being fully integrated into their local community. I live like they do...shop at the palengke with them, walk with them, eat with them, gossip with them, sing videoke with them. But make no mistake, I am not one of them. They know it and I know it. I live here, but I am a foreigner - middle class, white, and protected by my heredity, whether I like it or not. The guilt I feel knowing my Nikes could feed a family for a few months or that my North Face backpack could clothe an entire Aida village eats away at me, makes me feel like a schmuck, and oftentimes transcends the feelings of pride I have that I am here doing the most worthwhile work I have ever done. A couple days ago I told my coworkers that I would be going back to the States in July for a vacation. They (of course) asked how much my plane ticket would be. "About $1200", replied the schmuck. My supervisor told me that could pay off her mortgage. My coworker told me it could pay off all of her father's hospital bills.
It's taken all year for me to learn how to navigate through this guilt. The only way I can figure to use it constructively is to channel it into my work. Get that grant, teach those Life Skills, help with those livelihood projects... But it never feels like enough. We go home in 2 years time and there will always be that one person you couldn't reach, or that one project you couldn't complete.
So it's been a year but I'm not yet half way though my service. This scares the shit out of me. It's also comforting because it makes me feel like I've got plenty of time left to figure out how to leave here without all these feelings of guilt that I could have done more for the people who have irrevocably changed my life.

bike & hike

2007-03-12T11:10:00.000+08:00

In an effort to train for the triathlon i am planning to do when i go home for 3 weeks in July, I recruited my friends Kate and Pat for what i thought was a great idea: bike from Nueva Ecija, a neighboring province where they live about 80 km away, to my house, hike Mt Arayat, then bike back to Nueva Ecija. Sounds like the perfect weekend adventure, di ba? Kate pretty much laughed in my face, (smart girl) and said no way to the biking but she was in for the hike. Pat agreed. So, they arrived on Friday, Pat sweaty and cursing Filipino drivers, Kate also sweaty since she wasnt able to get an air conditioned bus. Summer is upon us. In the Philippines, March through May are the summer months. In June, typhoon season begins. So the sweating begins early in the morning, and until sundown, you are looking for shade, fanning yourself, or taking a bath to cool off. Our friend Josh, who also lives in Magalang with me, joined us early Saturday morning to hike Mt. Arayat. Arayat is the mountain in my backyard. It was a very vertical hike (no switchbacks), but beautiful. Did i mention how hot it was? Right. So we finish the hike in about 5 hours, stop at Josh's host family's house for a quick lunch, and Pat and I jump on our bikes, legs already shaking. Whose idea was this, anyway? Kate and Pat live on the other side of Mt. Arayat, and then north of it. So the beginning of the ride, next to Arayat, was scenic and relaxing. Very few buses, jeepneys, trikes, cars, and obnoxious Filipinos screaming "hey joe!". But then we hit Cabiao, and it all went downhill. Getting run off the road. Buses belching their black exhaust in our faces as they tear past us, narrowly missing us and sending us flying. Highways are only 2 lanes here (i use the term "lanes" VERY loosely) and there is no divider, which means everyone is an equal-opportunity passer. Pat was ahead of me so I saw firsthand several too-close-for-comfort- moments where he was almost hit head on by idiots passing. There is nothing scarier than a Filipino driver. I dont know why i thought it would be an good idea to be on the road with them for an entire afternoon. But we pushed on, making it to their house just as it was getting dark (headlights on cars? what?) in a little over 4 hours. Kate, dutiful wife and friend that she is, had a big pasta dinner and mango margaritas ready and waiting. We spent Sunday relaxing and trying to move as little as possible. I'm pretty sure this hike and bike adventure is not going to become a regular thing... ( and now i have to ride my bike home alone tomorrow. ugh.)

2007-02-18T14:52:00.000+08:00

gung hay fat choy! happy chinese new year. we celebrated the year of the fire pig in manila, with lots of fireworks, dragon dances, and rowdy revelers...

mood swings

2007-02-13T18:10:00.000+08:00

I've been grumpy lately. Nothing specific happened; things are pretty much the same here. I'm just so tired. Tired of not getting a good night's sleep because of the roosters 10 feet from my bedroom window, tired of being stared at, laughed at, asked way-too-personal questions (why aren't you married? why don't you have kids? how much does this/that cost? how much do you weigh?)I am tired of things breaking, brownouts, sweating constantly, being covered in bug bites constantly, having an audience for things like hanging up my laundry to dry and pumping air into my bike tires, being ogled by men with no teeth, terrible music, nosy neighbors, instant coffee, pork fat, rats and roaches. The novelty has worn off. This is home now. Cultural differences are no longer fascinating, they are just annoying. Earlier today at work a goat wandered through the kitchen. I shooed him out and went back to what I was doing before i realized: I'm not laughing anymore. Six months ago, that goat would have made me giggle. Little things like this would amuse me, keep me going, keep me excited about living in a place where water buffalo hold up traffic and I fall asleep at night to the sound of my house lizards chirping. I have to get back to that...to laughing at these little things. I already don't notice anymore. It's amazing how quickly we acclimate.
One of my favorite quotes has always been something Douglas Macarthur said..."Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." (and how ironic, his involvement here in PI during WW2...)Anyway, I would never consider leaving PC early. Because I also agree that quitting wrinkles the soul. To leave early, to throw in the towel now, would be to walk away from 11 months of hard work. Hard work just to get here, hard work being here. There is too much left I want to do. I am fully committed to the programmatic plans we have made at my center for the next year and a half that i will be here. I'm just in a funk. They say that most PCV's experience this at about the one year mark. I know it will pass. Kim is coming to visit in early April. If there was ever a time I needed a dose of humor in my life it's now, and if there's one person in my life who could provide that, it's her. The timing couldn't be better. Maybe she'll help me remember how funny it is to eat lunch with your hands, with a baggie over it (like you're cleaning up dog poo), or that its hilarious when there are pig hairs in your pork ulam. Maybe.
It feels good to vent. Thanks for listening. Namiss ko kayo. I miss you all.

Lake Taal

2007-02-02T09:03:00.000+08:00

Last week several of us were in Tagaytay, 50 km south of Manila, for a Project Design Management conference with our supervisors. When it ended, Abby, Owen, and I decided to stay for a couple days to check out Lake Taal, which is in Tagaytay, close to where we had been staying for the conference. Taal is an active volcano within Lake Taal, and within the volcano there is another lake. All this is on the island of Luzon. SO, its a lake within a volcano within a lake within an island. Kinda cool. You take a boat across Lake Taal to get to the volcano. Once there, we were attacked left and right by locals hawking various things we could not live without for this hike to the top, where you could look in and see the other lake. Sumbreros, surgical masks, water, and horses were all for sale to us stupid foreigners that looked like easy targets. But we've been here for almost a year, so we knew better. They tried to convince us several times that we wouldnt be able to make it to the top without riding a horse ("malayo!") or purchasing snacks and a hat ("mainit!"). We werent sure about the surgical masks. They were making this sound like a Mt. Everest expedition, when, in fact, it is about a 45 minute hike at a leisurely pace. We thought we could probably handle it. As it turns out, we were three of only a very few that were actually walking to the top. Most people were on horses, many of them Korean businessmen with suits, nice leather shoes, and laptop bags (?). Turns out the surgical masks would have been a wise investment, as there is only one very narrow dirt trail, and there is a constant stream of people going past you, in both directions on horses. Lots of dust. Lots of nearly getting run off the trail by fat tourists on horses, not knowing what they were doing. It was hilarious. But once you get to the top, the sight of it all is quite worth it. It's magnificent. Just try to ignore all the stalls of snacks, drinks, and cheap souvenirs, and don't be alarmed at the idiot tourists leaving their trash all over this natural wonder.

2007-01-27T07:25:00.002+08:00

hiking Mt. Samat

2007-01-27T07:25:00.001+08:00

2007-01-27T07:23:00.000+08:00

with mga kapatid ko behind my host family's house

2007-01-27T07:22:00.000+08:00

2007-01-27T07:21:00.000+08:00

with Haven residents

2007-01-27T07:20:00.000+08:00

hiking in Bagac

2007-01-27T07:19:00.000+08:00

with Abby and Reyna in White Beach, Puerto Galera

2007-01-27T07:18:00.000+08:00

residents preparing dinner at Haven

2007-01-27T07:17:00.000+08:00

Caribou

2007-01-27T07:15:00.000+08:00

another night of videoke with my neighbors

birthday ko

2007-01-15T16:26:00.000+08:00

If there's one thing Filipinos know how to do, it's throw a hell of a party! Here are some pictures of my 31st...

december. wow.

2007-01-06T13:41:00.000+08:00

It's been a long month. It's been productive, I've been challenged, tired, and felt lots of different emotions. Let's see, where to begin...
At the beginning of the month, I went to Bicol (southeast Luzon) for a few days to meet up with friends to do some surfing in Bagasbas. Just as I stepped off my overnight 12-hour cramped, dirty, shoes-got-stolen bus ride from Manila, it started pouring. I had arrived jsut in time for a category 4 (5 being the worst) typhoon. Perfect surfing weather! We thought we could "wait out" (HAHAHAHAHA) the storm and continue with our vacation in Bagasbas. Not so much. By the time the cell towers were up a few days later, we started hearing about how destructive the storm had been. It's hard to know what's going on when you are locked inside, without power or phones, for 3 days. Turns out the storm had really rocked some areas of Bicol, resulting in close to a thousand deaths (most of which were presumed dead, buried under mudslides, unable to be reached) and left a million homeless. Yikes...
From there I traveled back to Manila for language "camp", a week of intensive instruction with our former langauge teachers from Balanga. It was great to see everyone. We were all pleasantly shocked to find that PC had put us up in a pretty nice resort with a pool, videoke, and edible food. It was relaxing and the perfect opportunity to catch up with everyone and swap stories (Most PCV stories include, but aren't limited to: poop stories, work stories, host family stories, physical ailments, language/cultural barriers, poop stories, what we miss from home, how annoying we get with certain people/situations, the weather, how cheap PC is, what a beaurocracy PC is, how bad the food is, who has mites/scabies/lice/worms, did i mention poop stories? yeah. that's kind of the cornerstone of our discussions.) Anyway, while enjoying langauge camp, i got a call from my regional director, our beloved Kuya Ambet, who asked if i would be willing to go to Legaspi, in Bicol, to offer counseling services at one of the evacuation centers with typhoon victims from the village of Padang. Kate, a social worker in Tarlac, and I were to fly there immediately. Most of the evacuees had lost family members and all had lost their homes. The plan was to fly out of Manila the following day, but another typhoon was headed straight for Legaspi, the same area that had just been hit. Planes were not flying in and out; PCVs in that area were evacuated. (dear god! give these people a break already!) Kate and I kill time in Manila for 2 days, waiting for the green light from PC higher-ups. We finally arrive on december 12, meet up with Julia, a volunteer who lives in Legaspi and whose apartment had been flooded out during the storm (check out the article she wrote for CNN at http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/12/10/typhoon.survivors/index.html ). PC put us up at one of the hotels in town with a generator (we were told power would resume in march) for a few days, and then we were able to stay at julia's as she had sufficiently mucked it out.
I had never been to a disaster site before. When we first arrived at Gogon elementary school, we were shocked to learn that roughly 2700 individuals, over 400 families, were now calling this small school "home". They were sleeping on top of one another. There was very little water, the CR (bathrooms) were a mess as there wasn't water to flush, alot of people were getting sick, many needed hospital treatment but were turned away because they had no way to pay for it. Among the devastating stories we learned about was a woman and her husband in their mid-thirties who had lost three of their four children in the mudslide. Padang was a village located at the base of Mt. Mayon, which is a beautiful, active volcano. Mayon is known around the world as the "worlds most perfect volcano", as its cone is perfectly symmetrical. It is indeed quite a site and it is a great source of pride to the people of this region. The most recent eruption was in August, when many villages were evacuated. Lahar, or ash, had accumulated along the sides of the mountain since the August eruptions. When the typhoon came through, the heavy rains pushed the lahar, along with large boulders, onto the villages below. Consequently, it was the mudslides, not the rains persay, that caused the most destruction. There were still hundreds of bodies that had not been recovered, as they lacked the manpower and equipment to do so.
Our time at the Gogon evac site with the Padang residents was busy. The children will not be in school for some months, they had nothing to play with, and nearly all had been traumatized by this event. They wondered around, glassy eyed, looking for sticks and tires to roll, or sticks, bags and string to make kites to fly. They had nothing. The other volunteers and I set up structured activities for them every morning (a make-shift camp), with physical games and activities, art and music. Basically, we kept them busy. We sang with them, cried with them, hugged them, tried as best we could to communicate with them, fed them. They smiled and laughed everyday and hung all over us, longing for attention and affection that they were not receiving elsewhere due to the horrific curcumstances. We took donated funds from our ever-generous families in the States and supplied materials for games and activites, school supplies, food, and small Christmas gifts. We had a christmas party, dressed up our friend Alvin as Santa, and gave them a spaghetti dinner, new tsinelas (flip flops) and t shirts. we supplied hygiene products, basic kitchen supplies, clothing, bare necessities. every night we held a teen group with the teen leaders that were our helpers throughout the day, and that we could not have managed 200+ childeren without. the teens cried, they laughed, they sang, they shared thier experiences. they grew to lean on eachother, which we encouraged they continue to do after we left.
I have come away from this experience with astonishment and admiration of the resilience and optimism of the Filipino people. Every day they would smile when they saw us, they would thank us profusely for what little we had to offer for so many bodies that needed so much. There is only so much we could do, and every night when we would stumble home, physically and emotionally exhausted after 13 hour days, we would continue the brainstorming into the night. How to best use the donated money, which therapeutic methods would be most effective, how to handle the sheer volume of problems that were, in a word, overwhelming. But then the next day we would arrive again and the kids would race toward us, wearing the same dirty, ripped clothing they had been wearing since the day we arrived, giggling and wanting to know what we were going to play today, what time the games started, whether or not Ate Suzie and Kuya Page would be joining us. They did now dwell on what had hapopened, they wanted to get on with life, with their enjoyment of life, with their laughing and singing. So thats what we did. We played until we felt like we couldnt stand, and then we played some more. The last day, we took a couple hours to visit Padang. It had been a fishing and rice farming community, lush and green before the mudslide. Where we stood, it was a ghost town,

with the intimidating Mayon as a backdrop. You could see the green on either side of the mudslide path, but where we were standing, where hundreds of homes had stood, there was nothing but ash. It was hard to imagine the little ones we had grown to love at the evac ctr, clinging to the trees as the force of nature pushed their homes and their loved ones past, leaving nothing but a black, ominous path in its wake.
The day before Chritmas Eve, we flew back to Manila. It was hard to say goodbye, but we knew our time there had been well-spent. It was certainly a Chritmas gift i will never forget: a perspective check of epic proportions. I headed to Mindoro to spend Christmas with some friends, and from there we went to White Beach in Puerto Galera to camp. The plan was to continue on to Boracay for New Year's, but, (shocker)...i got sick again. So home i came, and somehow slept through the culmination of fireworks and singing, which had been gaining momentum since September.

thanksgiving in sagada

2006-12-05T16:10:00.000+08:00

Last week i traveled up to Sagada, which is a sleepy little mountain town in Mountain Province, about a 15 hour trip north of where I live. It was worth every second of bumpy, carsick travel time. The last few hours of the trip some of us rode on top of the jeep we had rented to traNsport 18 of us plus our luggage, 4 live turkeys, and close to 200 lbs of veggies. Seeing the Cordillera mountains from atop the jeep was breathtaking. Its chilly up there so we were all excited to dig out the one or two sweatshirts we had brought from our inital training in Detroit. We didnt need to sleep with fans! We had to wear socks to bed! Craziness. Thanksgiving morning we woke up early and everyone began chopping, mixing, sauteeing, etc... there were 45 of us total so we had a lot of food to make. We had music, sunshine, a cool breeze, and Bloody Mary's. We almost didn't miss football. Sagada is a very tiny town in the middle of a mountain range so we had to bring everything with us from Baguio. I hung out with the turkey-killers for awhile and everyone had their chance to participate in the throat-slitting and blood-draining. I headed back to the kitchen when it was time for the less-fun details like the de-feathering and gutting...
The feast was perfect and we were not missing anything from home. It was a very authentic American Thanksgiving. The next few days were spent hiking, caving, and just exploring the area. I cant wait to go back. We got a cave guide and spent an afternoon in the Kabunyan caves. Definitely the highlight of the trip for me. The hiking was spectacular as well. This is an annual tradition for PC volunteers; we always stay at the same Pension, they let us take over the kitchen, etc. I would love to spend longer up there next year because after only four days I was definitely not ready to go home.

It's always so fun to reunite with volunteers who live on other islands and we rarely get to see. I definitely missed Thanksgiving in the States, but this was the next best thing. If anyone comes to visit, we will definitely be heading up north to Sagada!
(Mom, bring your Dramamine for the ride...)

the BER months

2006-11-18T13:32:00.000+08:00

They have been preparing for Christmas since September. Seriously. I used to think seeing Christmas decorations in the mall before Halloween was ridiculous, but we've got nothing on these premature revelers. In early October I got my first "Merry Christmas!". Around the same time I started noticing (by noticing I mean jumping out of my skin and then cursing) fireworks going off just outside my apartment. I remember pop rocks as a kid (isn't that what they were called?) Those little white nuggets of fun, gunpowder wrapped in white tissue paper, perfect for tormenting one's older sister with. My brothers loved them. I mean, who doesn't? There's nothing like throwing a near-invisible explosive at someone's feet while their back is turned. Hilarious! The pop rocks here apparently aren't regulated. Which means they are insanely loud, industrial-strength, kids-probably-shouldnt-be-playing-with-them-unsupervised, fireworks. But they love them. I asked my landlord what the deal was. "It's the BER months!", Kuya Esmer replied. "Umm....what?" "You, know, SeptemBER, OctoBER..."
Right.
See, here's the thing: Filipinos are very early risers. The barangay is up and at 'em before the sun has come up. I understand this; it gets too hot within a couple more hours so people like to get going early. Here's another thing: There are ALOT of kids here. Probably more kids per square kilometer than Disneyland. I'm still trying to figure out whether this is lack of education about birth control or superstitions regarding birth control. I think it's a little of both. At any rate, 5am is wake up time, whether you like it or not. Don't have to work today? Wanna sleep in on Saturday morning?HAHA, sucker!! No chance!
These loud kids running about, staring in my windows and setting off fireworks outside my front door are also the reason I am not lonely and have rarely felt homesick here. They see me coming from far away and start running towards me, "Ate Carrie!!" I don't know a single one of their names. But they know me. Quite the little spirit-lifters if I am having a bad day. So, the BER months will be coming to a close here shortly. Hard to believe. I've become habituated to the crowing of the roosters my neighbors raise to fight (cockfighting is huge here). I don't know about these fireworks, though. Maybe I'll get used to them just as DecemBER wraps up.

Workin'

2006-10-28T10:40:00.000+08:00

The past few weeks have been centered around a couple work projects, both of which I am very excited about. I am collaborating with my friends and fellow CYF volunteers Kate and Suzie, and we are developing a 12-week module of therapy sessions for our residents that are victims of sexual abuse, which is about 60% of them. Upon arriving at our respective centers, Kate and I were struck with how poorly equipped the social workers were to counsel and handle these residents and their cases. Suzie works for a NGO and her program is more community-based, but she also works with a large population of victims of rape/sexual assault. Most often, their perpetrators are family members (fathers, uncles, brothers, grandfathers) so if and when their case finally gets to court, the girls are usually reluctant to persecute because this man is the breadwinner of the family. If she sends her father to jail, who will support the family? What will happen to their younger siblings, their elderly grandparents that live with them and depend on him, etc? Statistically, mothers side with the father 70% of the time in cases like this (the father being the assaulter). Can you imagine being raped by your father, and your mother encouraging you to just forget about it and come home? These girls (often as young as 10), have a lot of pressure in cases like this, and unfortunately their family just isn't supportive. So the need for therapy with someone safe to discuss these things with is great. When it comes down to it, the people we work with here are in survival mode. Your standard Maslow's hierarchy model. They cant worry about values, morals, right vs. wrong, etc. If they don't have shelter and food for themselves and their children. If their financial supplier goes to jail, they have nowhere to go. Its hard, its depressing, its almost understandable, if you think about their options. They have none. So the three of us have decided to put together this module of group therapy sessions, focusing on topics like guilt, self-esteem, relationships, short and long-term goal planning, sexuality, body awareness, the legal system, etc. We will then train the social workers in different centers all over the region on how to conduct these therapy sessions and leave copies of the modules with the center, in the hopes that this will be sustainable and they will continue to use it when we are gone.
The other project the three of us are working on (we have collaborated because we are all in the same region) is a 3-day leadership "camp" or workshop (fun little acronym depicting the workshops' goals pending) in Manila where high school-aged girls are selected from different centers and communities to attend a leadership/empowerment "camp". We want to line up successful women in Manila and have panel discussions, etc with them and the girls so the girls can find out what sort of steps these women have taken to get to where they are. We are hoping these women will serve as role models and inspire the girls to stay in school, pursue scholarship options for college, etc. We presented this idea to our Filipina counterparts/supervisors and they were onboard. They suggested we find famous actresses to speak to the girls. They also suggested we get makeup and new clothes for the girls. They suggested asking the Congressional Wives' Club to speak to them. No, no, and no. We are not trying to set up a beauty pageant or encourage them to marry someone successful. A couple cultural roadblocks, but we are working around them...
These projects are exciting to us and we dove into them headfirst and are now feeling like we are drowning a little, running around trying to get sponsors onboard, traveling to Manila to meet with various "important" people, etc. but we are passionate about this and feel like it would benefit some of the girls. Re-reading this, it kind of sounds like we are naive little idealists running around the Philippines with a "save the children" banner. But we've been here long enough now that we are fully aware of the flop-ability of these projects too.
So, to sum it up, It's been a productive month. Who knows where these projects will go and if they will end up being sustainable. We are trying, and learning a hell of a lot in the process.

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it."
-Helen Keller

2006-10-14T10:55:00.000+08:00

bath time for the young ones at Haven

2006-10-14T10:51:00.000+08:00

last day of the semester at P.A.C.

Mga libing sa Pilipinas - hindi pareho!

2006-10-13T10:45:00.000+08:00

(Funerals in the Philippines - not the same!) Last week my co-worker died. She was only 46 and got sick very quickly and by the time they discovered it was cancer, it was too late. Yet one more thing to add to my ever-growing list of things-i-formerly-took-for-granted: Healthcare. People here don't go to the doctor for yearly checkups; they go when they are extremely ill, like Tatty was. And as far as cancer goes, even if it is detected early enough, most people here can't afford chemo or radiation treatment. Tatty was a very dedicated social worker; she had been with DSWD for over 20 years. She was my PC counterpart also, so it had been her job to show me the ropes. She took a leave of absence in July and never came back. The funeral was a very sad affair as expected, and like every other occasion in this country, way too much food was served. Was I the only one that lost my appetite after viewing her body? Yes. Yes I was. The moment I stepped out of the viewing line, someone shoved a plate covered in a plastic bag (makes for easier cleanup at functions like this) in my face loaded up with rice, pancit, some kind of unidentifiable meat, and a packaged cupcake and juice box. Just what I'm in the mood for. A big old plate of food that I just saw in the kitchen being prepared in a bucket. Don't know what else that bucket's held in it's lifetime, don't think i'm gonna eat what was just in it. Oh yeah, and lets not forget I'm nauseus anyway from looking at a dead body. I tried my best to do the move-the-food-around-on-the-plate-trick but everyone was observing my non-eating too attentively; I think it gave them something to talk and whisper about besides what was actually going on. "What's wrong with the American? She isn't eating. Is she sick? On a diet? She doesn't like pancit? Why isn't she eating" etc....this went ON and ON. So I crawled into a parked van with tinted windows and hid until chow time ended. Then we went to the cemetary for the interment. Again, very sad, very interesting from a cultural perspective. For 2 reasons: 1: The leftover pancit was styrofoam boxed and brought to the cemetary to hand out as parting gifts, and 2: The local ice cream man (on bike, not truck) rolled right up onto the cemetary, across plots and headmarkers, ringing his loud, annoying bell, just as the ceremony was concluding. And he had plenty of customers.

2006-10-01T17:38:00.000+08:00

with noah, abby, pat, reyna, owen, kate, and keith in mindoro

2006-10-01T17:30:00.000+08:00

waiting for the boat in puerto gallera

lice and e. coli

2006-09-24T14:35:00.000+08:00

I don't have lice. I do have e. coli. I do not want to devote any more energy talking (writing) about this devilish bacteria, so thats all I'm gonna say about it... I have it, I'm being treated, I'm feeling better. The end. As for the lice... Friday was the 25th anniversary celebration at Haven Pampanga, the center where I work. Staff and residents planned for weeks; the Mayor came, all the important barangay officials, etc. It was quite a big deal and the girls did their requisite dancing and singing numbers for the audience. When the eating, speeches, videoke-ing, dancing, and more eating were finished and we were all cleaning up, I sat down in one of the chairs to grab a drink of water (non-tap). All of a sudden I felt little hands behind me doing the lice pick!!!! It is a momentous day. I have officially experienced the rite of passage that leads me to believe that I am one of them. Or that they think I am one of them. Or that they think I am enough like them to do the lice pick in my hair. Ok, im getting ahead of myself...let me back up.
When I was still in training back in May in Bataan, all of us PC trainees went for a one week visit to our respective sites, observed (saucer eyes, jaws to floor) the community and facility where we would be working and living for the next two years. The day I arrived at my center, they put on a little welcome program for me, where they...yep, you guessed it, sang, danced, gave speeches, and served way too much food. The pavilion was decorated with crepe paper and a sign that read "Welcome Ms Carry, US Peace Corp". I was so touched. Being the guest of honor, I sat at the front by the "stage" (patch of grass) near the performers, so I was facing the audience. Suddenly I noticed that the girls, sitting in rows, were leaning forward, spreading the hair apart of the person in front of them, peering at the roots and picking stuff out. I tried to keep my composure, as the non-lice-pickers were staring at me, for many, the first white person they had ever met. I couldn't figure it out. What were they doing? Then it hit me. It was reminiscent of a National Geographic show I had seen years ago... the one where the apes are picking bugs from eachothers' hair and eating it. Was that what they were doing? They werent eating it, obviously, but was this such common practice that it was done in broad daylight, in front of everyone, during a performance?
I am laughing to myself as I write that and remember how appaled I was. But you see it everywhere. The staff do it to one another during meetings. You see it on the streets all the time. It is unabashed, free-for-all lice - picking, alot like the public nose picking and public urination (legal) that you see all the time here.
So on Friday when Babylyn, a magical little 12-year old that lives at the center with her mother and siblings, pulled up a chair behind me and started picking through my hair, I felt like I was going to cry. Because to me it means that they no longer look at me as the American, as the white girl, as the lucky girl that can afford cool shoes and earrings, as the outsider. The fact that she treated me like any other person at the center was a defining moment in my service here. It probably sounds ridiculous. But for 6 months I've been trying to accomplish this, trying to make them feel comfortable around me, trying to convince them that I am no different than they are.
So, I am proud to report that I am finally a member of the lice-picking-community. And I couldn't be happier about it.

Puerto Galera and PST2

2006-09-18T11:41:00.000+08:00

It's been a busy couple of weeks. Busy in that I've been away from site and traveling a bit, not so busy in the sense that I've also been sitting around on my ass most of the time. First I went to Mindoro, the island south of Luzon, to meet up with 7 friends on white beach in Puerto Galera. There are definitely more beautiful beaches in the Philippines, but it is low season so it wasn't crowded and things were cheap. Lots o layin on the beach, playing in the ocean, eating good food, and drinkin beers. We found an authentic Italian restaurant that had things like prosciutto, mozzarella, rosemary....No idea where this stuff came from and how it was all so fresh, but we are still talking about that dinner. You have to understand how bad the food is that we eat day to day here, so something like that is totally memorable. So that was Puerto. From there we took a boat back to Luzon, and rented a van that was too small for our crew and all our backpacks, and being the smallest I naturally got voted to be in the back snuggled up with all the huge backpacks. It was quite a ride. But on the boat ride, the boat broke (engine just stopped....Typical and not at all surprising) so we just floated around for a while and waited for another boat to come tow us to shore. Turns out the engine hadn't broken, just run out of fuel. Not so good at planning ahead here. So we gassed up and went on our merry little way. Finally we made it to Silang, Cavite, considered my many to be the butthole of the Philippines. This is where we had PST2 (Pre Service Training. We have been here 6 months, so I don't know where the "pre-service" part of it comes from. I no longer ask about these things.) We were told that there was a pool, rec room facility with dart boards, ping pong, etc. So even though we were in the middle of nowhere we thought it sounded ok. Turns out we had to be in session from 8-7 every day. Pool and rec rooms close at 7. Sweet. Needless to say, it was a very long, boring week. It kinda felt like being at summer camp. Or prison. Some sessions were informative and interesting. Others were redundant and mind-numbing. I think its hard to plan for something like this tho, with so many people from so many backgrounds and projects/sites coming together. We all need different information. But it was cool to finally see some other volunteers that I hadn't seen since we got here in March. It was great to leave on Saturday and come to Manila for a few days. So now I am in Manila getting my ear fungus taken care of. It's always something.

September

2006-09-03T10:28:00.000+08:00

Wow, coming up on the big 6 month mark in a couple weeks. In some ways it feels like my departure in march was a lifetime ago, in some ways it feels like yesterday. Mostly I cant get over how fast this is all going by. September will be a busy month. Next week I am heading to white beach in Puerto Galera, Mindoro, which is the island directly south of luzon. Some friends and I rented a house on the beach for a long weekend, and since its the off-season, it comes out to P300 per person per night, or $6. Cant beat that. From there we head to Cavite (well, half of us do; the other half goes to iloilo on panay) for our 6-month PC training. I have just learned that they would like me to present 2 workshops to the other volunteers while at training. One on behavior modification, one on working with special needs children. We were all hoping that since this is a mandatory training, they would be asking or hiring experts to come and teach us stuff. But looks like there have been more budget cuts, as I have been appointed the "expert" on these topics. From cavite I head to Manila for a 3 day conference with my supervisor for the volunteers that work within DSWD (dept. of social welfare and development, a govt. agency). I imagine it will be a smorgasboard of complaints about the corruption within government agencies here, peppered with reassurances from the higher-ups that things are a-changin.
its been an incredibly hot week without any typhoons. I hope they aren't saving themselves for when we are all laying on the beach next week...

Amoeba

2006-08-25T11:14:00.000+08:00

I've promised myself that this will be the last blog entry about being sick. I've been in Manila all week, pooping in lots of different cups and getting lots of needles stuck in my veins. And the final conclusion is....Amoeba. So, more meds and lots of speeches on avoiding foods that have been sitting out, not drinking tap water, and washing my hands after i use the bathroom. What am I, three? When you are sick in the PC, they put you up at a hostel in a nice part of Manila called Malate. This is the part of town that is filled with tourists, nice stores, good restaurants of any cuisine you could want, and lots of coffee shops. I'm talking real coffee, not the instant kind they drink everywhere else here. Of course, coffee is not on my rice/banana/gatorade diet, but it smelled good when i walked by. The days are filled with waiting around for test results or for doctors to see you. Manila is a really cool city, like an Asian Manhattan (ok, maybe not quite as cool as Manhattan), but when you are sick and here by yourself, it's pretty boring and lonely. So yesterday, armed with Imodium and my water bottle filled with rehydration salts, I decided to check out the Mall of Asia. Apparently it's the biggest mall in Asia. I'm not a huge mall fan, but here, malling is a sport. And yes, mall is a verb. When you leave any mall here there is a big sign over the exit that says "thank you for malling". Mall, mall mall.
What a monstrosity. There is an ice skating rink inside it. What Filipinos know how to ice skate? The only ice they've ever seen is the ice that comes out of the freezer. And judging by the kids out there giving it a go, it was indeed a novel sport. Watching this spectacle was a great way to pass the time, though. I can't understand who shops there. The stores are high end, by American standards. But it looked like there were lots of tourists there. People travel here to mall? Unbelievable.
So, that's been my week. Tomorrow I go back to site, where my new washer awaits. I cant wait to try it. Despite all these new and bizarre ailments I've been experiencing, this is still the coolest experience ever. I guess that says a lot for the program I am part of and the country I am in. I am still in love with this adventure.

weekend trips

2006-08-21T13:27:00.000+08:00

Over the weekend I went to visit my friends Kate and Pat in Nueva Ecija, which is a Provence about 3 hours notheast of me. For a week and a half we were talking about it, what kind of American food we would cook, what movies we would watch, what songs we would sing when we went out for videoke. Its so crazy how much you look forward to things like this. Just sitting around, talking and laughing, having a beer with friends. Nothing special. Its just so relaxing to not have to struggle through a tagalog conversation and have someone understand and reciprocate sarcasm.
Today is a Filipino holiday so its a day off. Ive decided that the mosquito situation is getting out of control, so i bought a few meters of screen and some duct tape. While I was hoisted on my washtub, which was on top of my coffee table, to tape up the screens, i saw that in my back "yard"there is nothing but standing water and trash. I guess that explains the swarms. Yeah, duct tape and screens. It looks pretty ghetto. But here its all about functionality. Nevermind whether or not its aesthetically pleasing (which its not. it looks like a six year old did it). I will still use my net and take my malaria pills, but now i dont have to cover myself in deet everyday. That cant be healthy.
When I was visiting Kate and Pat, i saw that they had bought a washer. Ive decided to do the same. I feel like this western-comfort splurge is a bit indulgent, but my stinky clothes would beg to differ. When you handwash, you hang things up that are soaking wet since you cant spin the water out. So on average it takes about 3 days for them to dry, longer if its raining, which it usually is. With the spinner it only takes a day so your clothes dry before they have a chance to get mildewy. I cant wait to take a shower and dry off with a towel that doesnt smell like wet dog.
Speaking of dog, I tried it last weekend. Its not too bad if its cooked adobo style. I mean i wont be making it for myself or anything, but I didnt gag while eating it.

sick...again

2006-08-11T10:11:00.000+08:00

It's not a promising track record. In four months, Ive been hospitalized three times. So at the end of 27 months, I'll have only been in the hospital 21 times! It's always the same thing....an intestinal infection due to bacteria. The doctors say, "Be very careful of what you eat!". Right. Thanks. Like I'm walking around eating garbage off the street. Nothing is more miserable than being sick and dehydrated when you are this far from home. I am vigilant about the food and water that I prepare. The problem is, this is a country that likes to feed visitors. It's how they show their love and hospitatlity. They make you eat. Its impolite to refuse. So, I dont always know how long that mystery meat has been sitting out. Many people here cant afford refrigerators, some just have foam coolers, so oftentimes things are left out. You just cover it up with this ingenious contraption that I refer to as a "fly-keeper-outer"....I dont know what its called but its like a mesh plastic basket that keeps the flies off and the mice out. I'm not sure how much it prevents the bacteria from festering though...
At any rate, I am home and feeling better. I think I have sufficiently worried my mother into a state of panic and I am half expecting her to show up on my doorstep any day now.

new crib

2006-08-06T12:01:00.000+08:00

I'm in! Saturday I moved out of my host family's place and into my apartment. It's not too far from my family's house, a little closer to the town proper of Magalang and a little further from work. I can still ride my bike though, it's not too far. It kind of reminds me of that exhilirating freedom you feel when you first go off to college. Independence is not something that's encouraged or valued in this culture, so I've had a hard time explaining this move to my host family (and most of my Filipino friends, for that matter). Why would I want to live alone when I can live with 15 other people and share one bathroom with no running water? I will be lonely! I will be scared! I won't be able to cook for myself, do my own laundry, clean up my own messes, do my own market shopping...
They love to take care of you, these wonderful people. They don't want you to have to do anything for yourself. It's been a big adjustment for me to let them help me, to not get frustrated and scream "LABAS!" when they all gather around to watch me hand wash my clothes, repeatedly telling me that I'm not doing it right and giggling to one another. As my patience reserve started to become depleted, I spent more and more time apartment-hunting. I think I left at just the right time.
My new place is very basic but there is running water and my landlords are awesome. They've already invited me to spend Christmas with them. I also have some new pets, in the forms of frogs, house lizards, and mice. They are helpful in keeping the bug population that also resides with me under control. There are windows in the front and back so there is a great cross-breeze that keeps it surprisingly cool. This was the most relaxing Sunday morning I've had in four months. I woke up, made coffee, read, fell back asleep, read some more....and stayed in bed as long as I wanted. There were no knocks at the door at 7 am wanting to know what I was doing and if I wanted breakfast; no kids peering in through my window and yelling my name in the hopes that I would get up and come play with them. aahhh...

recipes gone wrong

2006-08-02T14:36:00.000+08:00

We can't figure it out. They have all the right ingredients. The produce here is beautiful. But somehow, it ends up with things it shouldnt. Avacodo cubes with condensed milk and sugar. Spaghetti with hot dog pieces and sugar. "Garlic bread", to go with the spaghetti, with butter, garlic, and sugar. A poached egg floating in your chicken noodle soup. Mayo on carrot cake. A hot dog wrapped in a waffle. Banana ketchup. Relish and ketchup as salad dressing. Gelatin cubes in pasta. Sugar in ALL bread products. Fish as a chaser when doing shots. The list goes on...
So avacado is, after all, a fruit. I can kind of see how they came up with that. They add milk, sugar, and ice, and make a milkshake. We do the same with other fruits. Ok, fine. But mayo on carrot cake? Where did that come from? And what's with all the sugar? Its out of control. It's no wonder diabetes is such an epidemic here. This is, as my friend Owen says, a county full of hummingbirds. The fact that i drink my coffee (which is instant coffee, so I have a hard time even calling it coffee) black is big news around here. Black coffee? You crazy, girl.
But I guess in a nation whose best-known food is halo-halo, it should come as no surprise. "Halo- halo" translates to "mix-mix". Thats because its a desert with a bunch of stuff floating in the bottom of it. Wanna know whats in it?Beans. Banana slices. Coconut slices. Red gelatin cubes. Corn. Green gelatin cubes. Ube (a purple root crop). Put some shaved ice top of it all, then (what else) top it off with some condensed milk and sugar, and enjoy!

2006-07-30T12:44:00.000+08:00

the greatest good you can do for another is not just
to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own
-benjamin disraeli

from sea to shining sea

2006-07-30T11:24:00.000+08:00

I'm about to utter what may be our country's most cliche phrase, but here goes: I am proud to be an American. I know, I know...but its true. I am always asked to explain PC to the locals. They are usually incredulous as to why anyone in their right mind would leave America, especially to come here??? They can't get over it. I explain that our government pays me a small living stipend to work in a developing country for 27 months, and how exciting I think it is to be immersed in a culture so foreign from my own for that long. Can I do it?, they want to know. Can I go to another country and my governement pays me?
While they arent fully grasping the sacrifices volunteers have made to do this, I see what they're saying. In a country where the majority of its citizens live far below the poverty line, a federally-funded volunteer organization is just about the last thing on their list. Being here is an extraordinary opportunity. While it is considered "volunteering" since I dont receive a salary, I am given enough of a stipend to live comfortably, or as PC says, "the equivalent to the average person in your community". It's not a bad gig. And at the end of it, I get to come home. I will return to the land of opportunity, where I wont worry whether or not I'll be able to find employment upon my return. I wont worry whether or not my employer will provide me with health care. I wont worry that the salary I make wont afford my transportation and housing.
The people here arent going anywhere. They are in it for the long haul. Without a Visa, Filipinos are legally allowed to travel to Hong Kong and (i think) Singapore. Thats it. Anywhere else, they must have a Visa, which is hands down the most coveted document in the land. Obtaining one is no small task; you must have a connection at the embassy, you must travel to Manila at your own expense to apply for it, you must wait years to get an answer, and then, if you get it, you must pay alot of money. So while everyone dreams of getting one, in reality, it doesnt happen too often.
While I am not necessarily enthralled with our administration's decisions regarding foreign policy right now (I dont want this to get political so I will just leave it at that), everyday I am reminded what an incredible priveledge it is to be an American. If i get nothing else out of this experience, that realization will be enough.

2006-07-29T11:43:00.000+08:00

sunset-manila bay

2006-07-29T11:01:00.000+08:00

better late than never

2006-07-28T14:45:00.000+08:00

Ok, so I should have started this blog when i left the states 4 months ago. I cant possibly recount all the tales and emotions that ive experienced up until now. So here it is in a nutshell: MONTH 1- training, being coddled, lots of rules, wanting to be on our own. MONTH 2 - more training, more coddling, more rules, and still wanting to be on our own; we are all eager to be sworn in as volunteers and get to site to get our projects underway. MONTH 3 - reality. Missing newly-made friends from training, feeling like you have no idea what your job description is, and realizing your Tagalog isnt as good as you thought. In fact, it sucks. (most people in my area speak Capampangan, a dialect i didnt even know existed, so obviously wasnt at all prepared for, when i arrived). Now, the Philippines has some very beautiful areas. It is, after all, comprised of over 7,000 islands in the tropics. I wasn't one of the lucky ones that ended up in, say, an island in the Visayas. I am in a landlocked provence in north luzon, and live on a farm with lots of chickens (which by the way, dont just crow first thing in the morning), water buffalo, bugs and loud kids. It's fine. Well, it was fine in June when I arrived. But now here we are, going into August. As a stubborn, independent, moody 30-year-old, I think my time to move out has come. We are required to live with host families the first 6 months for "cultural integration". I have one month left to go, and as the household appliances ive been purchasing for my apartment continue to pile up in my 8x8 bedroom and my bitterness towards this PC rule mounts, I'm fairly certain Im as "integrated" as Im going to get right now.
SITE... Things at Haven are going well. I am moving ahead with projects despite not necessarily having counterparts (another PC rule that we must do everything with a ctrprt) because they are so understaffed, which is why im there in the first place. If I wait around for a staff member to become available instead of , for example, dealing with a current crisis (suicide attempt, runaway, girls engaging in sexual activities with one another) it will never happen. I didnt come here to try to look busy all day while waiting for someone to hold my hand thru a project.
SEC PROJ... Teaching in the Philippines. Hmm. Ive been hearing horror stories from other volunteers who are in the education sector and working in the school systems. The schools here are, quite frankly...a joke. Teachers show up when they want (if they want), and teach only when they are "in the mood" ( a direct quote from a teacher), smoke in class...Unfortunately things arent taken much more seriously on a collegiate level. I teach a freshmen class of Psych 101 at Pampanga Agricultural College. Again, classes are frequently cancelled at the last minute, because "its raining", "its too hot", or, my personal favorite, "theres a dance tonight". So this semester weve missed about 30% of the scheduled classes due to weather or other inconveniencing festivities. Again, this is COLLEGE. I do enjoy teaching though. When I get to.

So i guess thats it. What do i miss the most right now? A nice big healthy salad with home-grown veggies from my dads garden. Hot showers. A juicy hamburger. The Vine in O.B.
Just 23 months to go!!! sigh...